The Bob-White Players Present: Saccharine Sweet
by DixieCup
Summary: This is a continuation of the storyline introduced in "The Bob-White Players present 'The Foreigner' for the CWE#5 challenge: "Karma Bites Back". It's a quick read and I'd recommend reading through it to refresh your memory. This is a (hopefully) humorous story of revenge with a sprinkle of romance. Please enjoy and feel free to leave feedback. Thanks.


_This is a continuation of the storyline introduced in "The Bob-White Players present 'The Foreigner' for the CWE#5 challenge: "Karma Bites Back". Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own the characters, I only take them out to play with them occasionally and I don't make any money off them. A book is never really happy unless it has been read and re-read until the cover falls off and you need to buy a second copy. This is how I pay loving homage to my childhood favorites._

_I'm not real big on repentance ... I like revenge better. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton_

"Well, in my experience, if something is too good to be true, it's best to shoot it. Just in case," said the leggy brunette with the blackberry eyes.

"Thank you!" Dan said, his dark eyes lit with mischief. Except it came out more like "tank yew". Trixie was getting better at deciphering Brooklyn-ese these days.

Trixie rolled her eyes at her cousin. "Thanks, Hallie but I'm pretty sure that's still illegal in New York."

"We could try breaking in? All you need to beat a tumbler lock is a little information and some stone-age tools. If you know the basic type of key you need, we can get a matching blank, file down the valleys to the center ledge, and use it as a Bump Key. Apply torque, whack it with anything handy, and we're in!" Dan's hands were animated with excitement.

"It's more fun kicking a door down," Hallie countered.

"Can you guys be serious for once?" Trixie said, her temper heating up. "I'm not risking my job with the crime lab on a..." she stumbled for a word dark enough to describe Ben Riker and looked beseechingly at Jim.

"A gavone?" Jim supplied, helpfully. "A scootch?"

"In English, please?"

"A shlub, a shem, a skeeve," Dan said helpfully with a grin.

"I prefer his original title," Jim countered, "The Frickin' Mayor of Creeperville."

"Yeah well, we can't exactly harm someone of his status," Trixie grumbled. "We were able to save the B&B last fall. But now, how can we teach him a lesson?"

"I'm taking a meeting with Matt Wheeler this afternoon," Jim said, checking his watch. "After looking through Uncle James' investments, we have an idea." As Hallie opened her mouth, Jim quickly said, "One that doesn't involve C-4!"

"C-4 is meant to be used, not stored, Jim," Dan told his friend with a wicked grin.

"Nothing turns a girl on like things that go 'boom'," Hallie said, flirting with the dark eyed explosives expert.

"Argh!" Trixie grumbled.

"Whatsamattaferu, Trix?" Dan laughed, deliberately adding emphasis on his accent. "We givin' you agita?"

"How do you know Matt Wheeler?" Hallie asked, smiling and tactfully changing the subject.

Jim smiled. "I don't. Or, I didn't. He apparently went to college with my dad. After finding myself the heir of a few million dollars, he offered to help mentor me. Go over my investments and discuss first, how to not let it go to my head after living paycheck to paycheck as an editor for so many years. And secondly, how to turn a few million into a lot more million."

"You're being so level headed about things, Jim," Trixie said with a slight blush. "I really admire the way you're taking on your new responsibilities."

Jim brushed a stray blonde curl out of Trixie's eyes and they simply watched each other.

Hallie and Dan exchanged an uncomfortable look. Finally, Hallie cleared her throat. "So, what did you need a bounty hunter for?" Hallie asked her cousin.

"I want Ben to learn a lesson," Trixie said. "I don't want to turn into a 'scootch' myself." She and Jim shared a smile. "But I need to show him know that destroying my family's home in the name of Stuff Mart isn't going to go unpunished."

"So you're turning into Bobby?" Hallie asked, quoting Trixie's youngest brother. "Revenge is sweet, saccharine sweet?"

"Why not?" Trixie asked, chin up, belligerent.

Hallie sighed. "How can I help?" Crabapple Farms wasn't her home, but as a Belden, it was her family's legacy, too.

"Well, I was thinking that Ben doesn't know you. You might be able to use your feminine wiles and tease him and tempt him and get him to fall for you before dumping him."

"I have feminine wiles?" Hallie barked a sharp laugh.

Trixie moaned at her cousin. "Be serious, Hallie. You're gorgeous! Ben would have to be blind to not follow you anywhere!"

"Can I use my handcuffs?" Hallie asked. "I came with my own set, just for the occasion."

"What a woman!" Dan exclaimed. "Freckles, I think I like your cousin. At least a helluva lot more than Jim's cousin!"

Jim shuddered. "Cousin only through marriage," he corrected. "That cow is a chip off her uncle Jonesy's shoulder."

Dan groaned. "Never met anyone with such an ironic name."

Jim smiled and left the three of them plotting in the old gatehouse as he made his way up in the mild spring air towards the Manor House.

_Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. ~ Elbert Hubbard_

"So, effectively, what you're saying is that I'm a controlling partner in Riker International?" Jim asked Matt Wheeler.

Matt shrugged. "On my suggestion, your great uncle bought a 10% share of Riker International when it was just a start up," he clarified. "When Riker married my wife's sister, I invested some money. He needed to expand and get capital so during the IPO period I bought a 20% share in the company to help him get on his feet."

"IPO?"

"Initial Public Offering," Matt clarified. "That's the initial period of selling shares of your company on a securities exchange – like New York or Tokyo Stock Exchanges. It's the process that takes a company from privately owned to publicly held."

"We were all neighbors for a time," Ed Lynch said, "I wanted to help them out, too. I trusted Ben, Sr. So, I bought a large chunk of the company as well. Currently, I'm a 15% stockholder in the company."

"The Riker family only owns 20% of their own company – split among Ben, his mother Marie, and his father," Matt continued. "The rest is publicly owned."

"That seems a little low," Jim said, "Wouldn't you want more shares in your own company?"

"It used to be more – closer to 51%, but they ran into some cash flow problems," Ed said, absently looking over some proxy forms. "They had to sell out part of their shares to cover for some bad investments they'd made."

"Essentially, the Riker family could liquidate all their other assets – land holdings, bonds, and whatever other stock they may own - and try to buy the other 35% of shares out there, which would give them a controlling share. But until they do that, we, as controlling members can engage in a proxy fight, essentially using our power to put in new management."

Jim nodded his understanding. "Doing to the Rikers what they were doing to the Beldens."

Ed nodded in agreement.

Jim liked the symmetry of such an arrangement.

"I've been an editor for the last ten years," Jim said, looking steadily at both men. "Explain to me what all this means."

"Riker International is our target," Matt Wheeler began, clearly in his element explaining business to his friend's son. "We can perform due diligence –"

"That means we would investigate the current practices and policies of the target," Ed Lynch interjected. "Including a financial audit."

"So we hold them up, investigating them," Jim said, slowly. He was wrapping his mind around the power involved.

"Or change the company from within," Ed said.

"Exactly," Matt agreed. "We can also change the direction of the target," Matt said. "For example, instead of the huge 20,000 square foot Stuff Marts they keep imposing on small towns, we could offer essentially a mail order delivery of products that people could pick up in small, localized store fronts."

"Or," Ed commented, warming to this game of "what if", "we could market the Stuff Mart brand to individual stores. For example, selling the Stuff Mart brand of an item in stores like Lytell's here on Glen Road."

"Or even use it as a conductor of local businesses," Matt said, looking at an Excel sheet. "No two Stuff Marts would be the same if they each only retailed local or semi-locally made products."

"Could we sell their customer base?" Jim asked. "Like their pharmacy division to a small retailer? Or even their automotive division?"

Matt and Ed exchanged a smile. "Knew you'd have a great head for business," Matt commented and patted Jim on the back.

A quiet grin quirked Jim's mouth. He was finally sensing just how much power these men wielded. How much power he might be able to wield.

_If a man is truly in love, the most beautiful woman in the world couldn't take him away. Maybe for a few days, but not forever. ~ Eva Gabor_

"Trixie could invite him over," Mart began, his blue eyes glowing with malicious glee. "And we could ask him to take his shoes off before bringing him into the living room covered with Bobby's old Legos!"

Dan shuddered. There was pain and then there was bare feet on Lego pain.

"Or we could water down the stairs and let them freeze before inviting him over," Mart said with a chuckle.

"It's only early fall," Dan said, wryly. "I know it gets chilly at night but the stairs aren't going to freeze over."

Mart nodded. "Good point, good point." He quieted down for a few minutes. "We could put Moms' iron against the door handle of his office. The metal is a great heat conductor so that when he opens the door from his side, he burns his hand."

"Ammunition is easier," Hallie said.

"We could try tar and feathering him. That always seemed to work in the movies!" Mart said.

"That all seems like something out of a 'Home Alone' movie, Mart," Diana chimed in, her violet eyes smiling gently.

"Your mother must be so proud," Hallie said with a grin as she teased her cousin.

"If you're so smart, what kind of plan do you have?" Mart asked, challenging her.

"Trixie, Diana and I have a great plan," Hallie said, smiling.

"Diana?" Mart asked, his arm going possessively around his wife's shoulders.

"Yes, Mart. What Ben tried to do to your family home was wrong on multiple levels. I need to do my part in making him pay," Diana said, a fierce gleam in her eyes.

For a moment, Mart saw a fierce Valkyrie warrior superimposed over his Diana's delicate features. A beautiful vixen combined with a passionate fighter. He couldn't decide if he was proud or afraid, but finally decided maybe he was a little bit of both.

"Picture it," Hallie began, her blackberry eyes glowing with the thrill of the chase. "I walk into a bar and our eyes meet across the crowded room. The beat of the club music beats in time to my pulse and I approach him, intent in every line of my body. My eyes and my body language tell him he'll be mine before dawn screams its way across Europe and into the New York air."

Dan frowned, clearly not liking the way this was heading.

"I'll be waiting on the other side, in disguise," Diana said with a smile. "Trixie found a platinum blonde wig for me to wear."

"Diana has agreed to be my wing woman for the evening," Hallie explained.

Mart's frown matched Dan's. "What do you mean 'wing woman'?"

Diana shrugged. "We need to guarantee Ben comes with us. So we're going to offer him the chance of a lifetime."

Dan's jaw dropped. "You're going to offer him _what_?"

Hallie scoffed. "Well, it's not like he'd be guaranteed to go shoe shopping with two ladies, now is it?" She stuck out a tanned and toned leg and the hint of a red soled shoe. "Of course, I really could go with another pair of Louboutins."

Diana smiled. "I thought those were from Christian's latest designs. He's usually in Lisbon this time of year, but Daddy has a meeting with him next week. If you're still around, you can meet him?" she invited.

"I knew I liked you for a reason," Hallie said with a slow, easy grin.

Mart shook his head, clearing it of images he definitely didn't want to have with his cousin in the room. "But how will you stay safe?" he asked.

"I'm a bounty hunter, Mart," Hallie said. "I have a stun gun and handcuffs. I've studied Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with the Gracies. I'm sure I can handle anything Mr. Spoiled Rich Guy can dish out. The plan is to lure him into a hotel room, strip him down and then leave him handcuffed to the bed." Hallie shook her head. "I hate to leave the handcuffs. They're my favorite pair. I don't really have the time to order a new pair and have them delivered. Maybe I could find a set I'm not so attached to at a pawn shop in the City."

"You can find them at those adult toy stores," Diana said, helpfully.

Hallie laughed. "Oh, Diana! That's so cute. Those won't hold him as long as we need him to stay put!"

Hallie tactfully ignored the bright red shade of Mart's ears.

Dan and Hallie exchanged a long glance of mutual admiration. Dan had never admitted this to himself before but maybe – just maybe – he was falling for Moms Belden's niece.

_If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly ~ William Shakespeare,_ Macbeth

Not to be outdone by Hallie and Diana's plan, Honey had her own thoughts on revenge.

She tossed a little white stick sealed in a plastic zip bag. A "+" symbol was prominently displayed. "Surprise Ben with that," she declared triumphantly to Trixie.

Trixie stared at the little white stick and then back up into Honey's hazel eyes. "You're pregnant?" she said, her voice squealing a little. "I'm going to be an aunt?"

The two women hugged in delight and Brian smiled. "We plan on telling Moms at dinner tonight. But Honey couldn't wait to give you yet another way to bring down Ben."

Trixie's brow creased momentarily before realization dawned. "Oh! You want me to give it to him and pretend I'm the one who got pregnant?" At Honey's excited nod, Trixie blushed.

"I can't," Trixie said, very aware of both her brother and Jim watching her.

"Can't?" Honey repeated. "Oh, Trix, all birth control can fail."

Trixie's blush deepened. "Not mine," she mumbled.

Honey frowned. "Not yours?" A beat passed, then two. "Oh! Oh! Oh my. I didn't think. You mean you and Ben never-"

"No," Trixie interrupted, mortified. "We never did.

"Well. Crap," Honey said, sitting down next to her sister-in-law.

"We could put a bumper sticker on his car that says 'I have a small crankshaft'," Jim suggested.

"That's kind of overdone," Brian said with a laugh.

"Or putting one that says 'Compensating much?' on his SUV?" Honey giggled.

"You could hack his Facebook account," Brian said with a smile. "Have him become wildly interested in freeganism and dumpster diving."

"Ew!" Trixie said with a half laugh. "That's nasty and no one would believe that Ben Riker has sworn off making money."

"Or eating sanitary food," Honey said.

Suddenly, Trixie stood up, shaking with laughter. "I got it!" she finally made out.

It took her a few minutes to finally breathe. "I still have a key to his apartment. I can go over and take all the remotes from his home. TV, DVD player, DVR – all of them!"

Jim, Brian, and Honey were quiet for long moments before Jim turned to Brian. "Remind me to never make her angry!"

_To see an enemy humiliated gives a certain contentment, but this is jejune compared with the highly blent satisfaction of seeing him humiliated by your benevolent action or concession on his b__ehalf. That is the sort of revenge which falls into the scale of virtue. __George Eliot_

Jim and Trixie walked the path from Crabapple Farms towards the rustic outline of the Summerhouse at Frayne Mansion. Trixie cuddled deeper into Jim's arms as they stared up at the night sky.

"I had an epiphany," she said in the quiet of the night.

"Did it hurt?"

She giggled and lightly punched him on the shoulder. "I'm serious!"

Jim took her hand and brushed a light kiss across her knuckles. "Tell me what your epiphanic idea?"

"We're happy," Trixie said, leaning over Jim and brushing his lips with his.

Jim's smile was devilishly sexy. "And you needed an epiphany to realize that, baby?"

"No, what I mean is – we are happy. A happiness Ben will never get to experience. We have love and good friends. Family and laughter and hope for the future. All things that Ben will never have."

Jim frowned and toyed with one of her curls. "So, you're saying we should scrap all our plans for bringing Ben and his family down?"

"Doesn't the best revenge really come from living well?" Trixie asked.

The dark night descended around them, broken only by the occasional gasp and warm laugh of a couple falling in love.

"You may be right, Shamus," Jim finally said. "Living and loving just may be our best revenge ever."

"_Because what's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?" _ _James Patterson, _The Angel Experiment

"Hallie, there's a few things I'm good at: tactical analysis, hand-to-hand combat, and I'm a decent cook. But relationships... they're just not my thing. They never were."

"You're smart, good looking, and funny. Find yourself a 24 year old with implants," Hallie said with a sniff, covering up her pain.

"They bore me," Dan whispered, before gently brushing his lips against hers.

_Character is power_ ~ Booker T. Washington

_Epilogue_

_Six months later_

Honey Wheeler-Belden bounded down the path from Manor House to Crabapple Farms as fast as her very pregnant body would allow. A slight slip on a patch of ice scared her enough to finish walking in a far more sedate fashion.

She walked into the kitchen, hugged her mother-in-law, and gasping for breath, asked where Trixie was.

Moms smiled. "She's been busy packing up her room and looking through bridal magazines and getting ready for her wedding to Jim in May."

Honey groaned to herself but she wasn't going to let a few more steps hold her back. This news couldn't wait another second.

"Honey? Are you okay?" Trixie asked her best friend as she burst into the room. She was panting and gasping and, if Trixie wasn't mistaken, her breathing sounded suspiciously Lamaze-like.

"Got. Invitation. Mail," Honey made out.

Trixie frowned. "Jim and I haven't sent our invitations out yet. We were planning only a small intimate wedding."

"Not. That." Honey's breathing got more labored as she sat on Trixie's bed. Slowly she calmed her breathing down until she could finally make out a complete sentence. Sort of. "Cousin. Ben. Getting. Married." She thrust the embossed invitation to Trixie.

Trixie frowned and read, "Jacob Jones requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of his niece Chastity Jones to Benjamin William Riker, Jr. on Saturday June 30." She flipped the page over and looked for any additional clues she may have missed. "I don't get it," she said. "Is it a joke? He's marrying a girl named Chastity?"

Honey shot her a look that spoke volumes. "And I thought my memory was going with this pregnancy," she complained. "Jim's step father? The man that abused him so badly? His name was…"

"Jacob Jones," Trixie and Honey said simultaneously.

"But there must be a thousand Jacob Joneses," Trixie said. "That has to be a coincidence!"

"With a niece named Chastity?" Honey said, one perfectly eyebrow arched.

A knock sounded on the door, "Trix, hon? Your mom said to come get you ladies for dinner." Jim peaked around the doorway and smiled at his fiancée and future sister-in-law.

Wordlessly, Trixie handed Jim the wedding invitation. Jim instantly recognized the name and the laugh that started in his diaphragm rose straight up from his toes. "That's insane," he finally said. He brushed a kiss across Trixie's forehead. "You were right, Shamus. Perhaps the field of karma had a much better fate for Ben than anything we could ever devise."

"I hate. Ruin. Celebration," Honey panted.

"What's wrong, Honey?" Trixie said, realizing her friend was breathing hard again.

"Hospital. Now," Honey said, panic in her hazel eyes. "Labor!"

Several long hours later, Dr. Brian Belden found his family and loved ones in the waiting room. "It's a boy," he said tiredly. A happy celebration broke out among them with random fist bumps and high fives and even a few hugs and kisses passed around. "Mom and baby are resting and doing well."

_A/N:_

_A little lesson in how to insult someone Brooklyn/ NY style:_

_Gavone: An Italian-American phrase from the Italian word "Cafone" which means rude people especially from countryside. _

_Scootch/ Scutch: A Brooklynism for a real pain in the butt_

_Shlub – blockhead, idiot_

_Shem – a jerk_

_Skeeve – from the Italian phrase "mi fa schifo" – something that makes you sick_

_Agita – indigestion caused by being aggravated by friends and family_

_Freeganism is the practice of reclaiming and eating food that has been discarded. Freegans and Freeganism are often seen as part of a wider "anti-consumerist" ideology, and freegans often employ a range of alternative living strategies based on limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources._

_"Stuff Mart" was used in a VeggieTales episode. It's a chain of massive box stores where you can buy all the stuff you want._

_And a special thanks to Cindy and Jo for proofreading and their feedback. Naturally, all remaining mistakes are my own. _


End file.
